Appraisal...

Appraisal ke naam par ek lambi aah bharte hain,
chaliye ab hum is "dukhad" kahani ki shuruat karte hain,

hamehsa ki tarah 10 baje thumakte hue office aya,
11 baje tak nashta kiya aur barah baje tak mail hi padh paya,

hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi mujhe alas aa raha tha,
aur mera PM mujhe tirchi nigaho se dekh-dekh gussa raha tha,

main bade concentration ke sath ek "Careful" mail padh raha tha,
tabhi dekha mere PM ke naam ka new mail kone main blink kar raha tha,

is mail ki amad se itna ghabara raha tha,
ki CLTR + F4 ki jagah shift + F5 daba rah tha,

phir koi trainig attend karni hogi, ye kya bakwas hai,
kya reply maim likh dun ki mere mailbox ka upwas hai ?

maine aankhen band ki aur 10 bar "om" "om" bola,
aur pranam karte hue maine wo mail khola,

PM ke is mail main ek ajeeb sa sukoon aur bholapan hai,
likha hai bhaiyon appraisal letters aa gaye,ab to one-to-one hai,

mujhe lag rah tha vb ke environment pe unix ka code likh diya ho kisi ne,
dil aise dhadak raha tha jaise baar baar dil pe double click kiya ho kisi ne,

man main aise bure bure khayal aa rahe the,
upar se kuch log mere "de-appraisal" ki gandi affvah uda rahe the,

appraisal aise aya jaise India main Michael Jackson aya ho,
jaise Indian football team ne ,Manchester United ko haraya ho,

PM ko letter late dekh har koi use dekhta jata hai,
jaise mallika ke kisi naye gane ko dekha jata hai,

akhir wo waqt aya,
PM ne ek ek kar sabko ander bulaya,

jo bhi ander jata hansta hua jata,
jo bahar ata , murjhaya hua ata,

jo bhi ander jata, sabko dekhte hue jata,
jaise hi bahar ata , sabse mooh chupata,

bahar aa kar insaan sambhal bhi nahi pata hai,
ki "kitna hua kitna mila" har koi uspe toot jata hai,

aisa lagta hai wo room nahi "time machine" ho jo sabke ander leti ho,
aur "good time" se utha kar "bad time" main lakar chod deti ho,

kisi ko appraisal main 2000 rupaye mile the, main uski hansi uda raha tha,
tabhi maine dekha mera PM ishare se mujhe ander bula raha tha,

main confidence se utha aur age kadam badhaya,
tabhi meri belt ka buckle toot ke nikal aya,

meri halat to abhi se hi buri ho gayi,
saala izzat utarni to yahi se shuru ho gayi,

main ander pahuncha aur PM ne mujhe bithaya,
usne mera letter padha aur wo hansi rok na paya,

wo hansne laga aur hansta hi chala gaya,
use yaaron hansi ka thaska a gaya,

wo itna hansa ki use ansu aa gaye,
mere appraisal digits use itne bha gaye,

jaise hi usne appraisal letter meri taraf badhaya,
meri ankhon ke age ghanghor andhera chaya,

mujhe laga jaise meri dil ki deewar ko kisi ne gobar se pota hai,
are yaar "bees rupaye" ? ye bhi koi increment hota hai ?

ye software indusrty hai akhada nahi hai,
ye "SALARY INCREMENT" hai , Dadar ane-jane ka bhada nahi hai,

meri chaaron taraf kali ghata chayi,
tabhi mere PM ki soothing awaz ayi,

tum soch rahe hoge ke companuy mgmt ka dimag phir gaya hai,
par beta hum kya karen , dollar ka bhav 2 rupaye jo gir gaya hai ,

par phir bhi mujhe lagta hai, ye letter fake hai,
mujhe to lagta hai ye printing mistake hai,

tum HR main jao,
aur ye confirm karke ao,

bhai HR main jane ke liye taiyyar hona padta hai,
wahi to aisi jagah hai jahan sunder ladkiyon se pala padta hai,

shitt!! jahan "Ronak" baith ti hai, aaj whan baitha "Aftab" hai,
main samajh gaya beta, aaj apna badluck hi kharab hai,

usne mera letter khola,
aur khush ho ke bola,

wo bola sir aap ke liye khushkhabri hai,
aap ke letter ne "Printing mistake" pakdi hai,

maine kaha boss ab der na lagayen ,
aur mujhe mera actual amount batayen,

sorry sir ye mistake just by accident hai,
bees rupaye nahi , do rupaye aap ka increment hai,

main kya karun aap ko ye batete hue mera dil ro raha hai,
par kya karen dollar ka bhav bhi to kam ho raha hai,

main bas wahan khada tha ,kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha,
mujhse zyada increment to security wala pa raha tha,

maine khud ko sambhala, khud ko uthaya,
main lauta aur seedhe PM ke pass aaya,

main seedha uske cabin gaya aur darwaza khola,
is se pehle ki wo bole, main hi us se bola,

sir ye paise wapis le lijiye, baat karna fizool hai,
main gareeb hun, par bheekh nahi leta ye mera usool hai,


doston ek ant main ek shayari --
"appraisal aisa laddu hai ,jise khane ka har kisi ka khwab hota hai,
par ek bar koi ise kha le , to bada bhayankar julaab hota hai,"